It’s three in the morning. You have it inside you right now. It kind of hurts. You’ve had one too many cups of jungle juice. You think his name is Andrew, but you’re not really sure. You thought you would never be that girl, but there you are, in your drunken haze.
You wake up the day after to an unfamiliar ceiling, some guy who smells like booze, AXE body spray and, well, something else. He wants to cuddle and you’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up [ ________ ].
Reader: How did the AU Eagle complete that sentence?
a. You’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up was rape.
b. You’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up was a product of society’s shaming of female sexuality, which encourages women to resort to dangerous, heavily intoxicated, and painful sex with strangers instead of openly pursuing empowered, respectful, and satisfying sexual experiences with desired sexual partners.
c. You’re starting to think maybe this drunken hook-up could turn into something.
Amanda Hess has the write up at The Sexist on how this is, if nothing else, bad sex advice. She also points out that there's still a lot of confusion over whether or not it's Rape. Let's be clear:
If you wake up and someone's in the process of penetrating you - that's Rape.
If you weren't there for all the stuff that led up to that moment (ie were not actively, enthusiastically, lucidly engaged), then it was unwanted. Wanted means pursued - which means there was some activity happening. Unwanted = Rape.
If "huh?" is the first thing that crosses your mind, that's not a drunken hook-up, that's Rape.
“How the hell is that rape?” wrote one. “I hear of this kind of stuff happening all the time.”
Yea, it's Rape. And it happens all the time. That it happens is not nullifying.
Sure, I can imagine a world where kids (or adults) drink a lot and then have sex (sex, not rape). But pretending that we don't know the line between drunk-sex and Rape is just that - pretending. We know the difference when a person wants to be doing something, and when we're exploiting a vulnerable situation. Calling it "gray" or drunken, or regrettable, or normal - is a lie, and only shows your willingness to cover for rapists.
And for the apologists - or, unapologists as it were - at the Eagle: Using the "seriousness" of Rape and sexual assault to silence protests over bad media, only makes your media worse. Don't pretend to be defending women and victims by co-opting the very event you're minimizing.